These past couple of months have been brutal. I am admitting now that I have not been my best self. My mood has been up and down like a roller coaster because I’ve been losing focus in my life and having a hard time watching people move forward. I wish I could find a better word than jealousy, but that is pretty much it, pure jealousy. I’ve been watching my friends be successful in finding careers, love, and their personal passion and I have been frustrated with my own process.
At first, I though I was just in a funk, and I tried to do everything that normally helps me get out of those funky moods. I belted songs from the top of my lungs, wrote, danced in my room like I was in a discotec in Amsterdam, but nothing worked. I wanted a change, but I couldn’t find out where to get it. This weekend I started a new book called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. I didn’t know what to expect from this book, since I pretty much judged the book by its bright colors and Best Seller sticker. As I started reading, I knew this could be something I could do on my own, and something I needed to do. Gretchen makes monthly resolutions and focused on them, by creating objectives to follow in that time frame. Each month is different, but they all connect to her main goal of feeling happy with the life she has. Now I want to attempt my own happiness project. I know that I am blessed for the life and opportunities I have had, and I want to appreciate them more.
Next Sunday I turn 23, and I want to dedicate this year to my happiness. I don’t feel like I know myself as much as I should yet, because I always get deterred by what I think I want by following others. I’m challenging myself by writing about it and sharing my story, because I think it will push me more if I start to give up half-way through (don’t let me do it!).
I have written my resolutions for 12 months and I plan on sticking to them! I am dedicating my first month to energy, since this is the key thing needed to get my life started.
Wish me luck!